Begin the sequence of sending and taking with yourself.

Photo by Andrea Booher

          Shortly after 9/11, I remember reading about the many Search and Rescue dogs who explored the maze of twisted metal and rubble from the Twin Towers. Not only did these animals search for survivors, they also provided comfort to the first responders who worked tirelessly at the site. Yet as the days turned to weeks, the dogs continually found bodies rather than anyone alive. Though they were well taken care of, several of them began to lose their fur and appetites as well as show signs of depression. Like any professional, their biggest reward was a job well done - in their case, finding a live person. Some of the handlers got a few workers to hide among the debris to allow the dogs to feel the excitement of a live rescue again. This break from routine gave them some positive reinforcement for the endless, hard work they had been doing. In the same way, practicing tonglen for ourselves can help uncover the spring of compassion that flows within; nourished by it, that feeling of tenderness and kindness can overflow to others.

There is a difference between self-absorbed, narcissistic behavior and sound internal self-care. Self-care is about taking good care of our own feelings so we don’t project them onto others, act badly, or cause problems in relationships. When we are in touch with our own feelings, we can then reach out more effectively to others and show love and empathy to them also. ~ Karyl McBride

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