Four practices are the
best methods.
From the Lojong for the Layperson booklet:
Four things can help us
cultivate an awakened heart and mind:
1) Accumulating merit – This is not giving so we will receive, but a
way to open and give wholeheartedly without any strategy plays by the ego. We
let go of fear and hope, refuse to shield our hearts and accept what is. We
give what we find hard to let go of.
2) Acknowledging evil (neurotic) actions – This action has four parts:
regret, refraining, remedial action, and resolution. Awareness and mindfulness
make it hard to hide from ourselves. We get sick and tired of what we see,
which leads us to want to put a stop to it. We refrain because we realize the
chain of misery it sets off. We commit ourselves to freedom, and are encouraged
and gain confidence from the success of others. We gently resolve not to repeat
our neurotic actions.
3) Offering to the dons – The dons are those emotions that seem to
take possession of us, like anger, fear or depression. When we recognize we've been “possessed,” we can regard these moments as opportunities for mindfulness
and awareness. We can be grateful for this wake-up call to become open and
expansive rather than closed-hearted.
4) Offering to the dharma protectors – The dharma protectors are like
shepherds who give us direction, let us know when we have strayed and point the
way back to the path. These guides represent the wisdom of awareness and reveal
to us how to overcome obstacles through our practice.
Photo: Fringe tree berries, roses,
immature pine cone, liriope blooms.
The Four Practices are practical ways we can use lojong
in our daily life. Here are some simple examples of what these might look like:
1. As you walk out to
retrieve your morning newspaper, you notice the paperboy has tossed your
elderly neighbor’s paper beneath a shrub. You retrieve it and place it by her
front door.
2. At the grocery store, you
start to add a gallon of ice cream to your cart, but pause when you think about
how tight your waistband has been getting. It’s been your late night comfort food,
and the way you've handled stress for a month now. You realize that soon you’re not going to fit into your pants if you keep this behavior up, so you put back
the ice cream and buy some sliced apples instead.
3. Later that day, you and
your teenage daughter get into an argument than ends with her retreating behind
a slammed door. Angry about her attitude, you start to march in without
knocking and give her an earful. Instead you pause and recognize this as an
opportunity to practice deep listening skills.
4.
In the evening, you speak with a friend and mentor about a new woman in the book club
you attend. This woman disagrees with every view presented and refuses to consider any perspective other than her own. Your friend suggests using this situation as a
way to practice patience and kindness rather than focusing on how you can "put
her in her place."
