Slogan Forty-nine

Always meditate on whatever provokes resentment.

From the Lojong for the Layperson booklet:
            Imagine roots that invade and clog a home's septic system. At first we may hear strange gurgling noises and see the drains aren't emptying as fast as they normally do. Eventually we'll get the smelly overflow if we continue to pretend nothing is wrong. At this point, would we try lots of air freshener or call a plumber? In the same manner, we sometimes think we shouldn't dwell on anything negative in our spiritual practice, choosing to focus only on what is beautiful or sweet. But resentment and other not-so-nice feelings can cause problems if we don't investigate them. Instead of ignoring them, we can pause, watch and listen, noticing what caused our self-centered reaction. Judy Lief suggests asking ourselves, "What are we clinging to? What are we afraid of losing?" Tonglen can help us create space around the emotion. We may discover that clog is not as solid as we thought.

Photo: Stinky squid mushroom, known for attracting pollinators by its fetid smell.

            One of my favorite jobs as a young adult was being employed as a preschool teacher, especially working with three-year-olds. Besides learning number and alphabet basics, we worked on tasks that required coordination, such as cutting with scissors or tying shoes. Most of the kids – even those who had learned to tie their laces – preferred a quick knot to a time-consuming bow when on the playground. At naptime, I would gather the shoes and attempt to untangle the knots. This memory arises when I remember this slogan, because both actions require a patient curiosity to complete. The purpose of meditating on resentment isn’t to rehash the story around the injustice or frustration. It is an alternative to reacting with anger and escalating the problem. Looking beneath the pain is a way to discover what I’m attached to that is causing me to suffer. It is likely I’ll find there is something I’m afraid I will lose or fail to gain. Untangling my emotions will create a space for clarity and allow me to respond with wisdom and compassion. It sure beats tying a bow on top of a knot or just adding more knots.