Point Six of the Seven Points

Point Six – Commitments of the Practice

            Humans love loopholes. Even when we’re young, we look for ways around rules and rationalizations for our behavior. Take for example little Johnny, whose mom gets him up early, dresses him in his Sunday clothes, and then firmly tells him to stay clean for the family photograph they’ll be taking soon. When she checks on him an hour later, she finds him back in bed with wrinkled clothes and mussed hair. When scolded he replies, “But I am clean - I didn’t get dirty!” Fast forward to Johnny as a young teen; before leaving to go out, his parents remind him to eat at least one vegetable with whatever else he has for supper. Upon returning later, his parents discover Johnny has consumed a plateful of French fries with ketchup for a meal. When they ask what happened to his promise to eat a vegetable, he explains, “Since ketchup comes from tomatoes, I thought that would count.”

            At first glance, the Sixth Point (slogans 23-38) may seem like a long list of “don’ts” from a strict parent. Yet they are actually methods for improving our interactions with other people so as to avoid causing unnecessary harm. By being so specific, these slogans prevent much “wiggle room” when it comes to our commitment to compassion. But even if we catch ourselves doing the opposite of what a slogan suggests, Pema Chodron emphasizes that there’s no need for self-denigration. She suggests we use such an opportunity to explore three things: the circumstance, our reaction, and our strategy for dealing with the situation. We may find a habitual pattern that causes suffering to everyone involved (without the relief we expected). That observation may be all the encouragement needed to stop looking for loopholes and embrace a more gentle strategy.
Photo: A cowrie shell hiding among six tumbled stones.