Slogan Twelve

Drive all blames into one.

From the Lojong for the Layperson booklet:

            Ordinary minds will always try to shift responsibility for mishaps to someone or something else. But this slogan suggests we stop guarding ourselves through attempts to shift the guilt elsewhere. Instead of aggressively pointing fingers, we should look within at the self-centeredness of our egos – the principle cause of our pain. Situations or people may provide the momentary circumstance of the problem, but it is the self-consumed ego that creates the suffering. This slogan does not mean we should not try to solve problems or stop injustices. But before we start blaming another, we should question what role we have played and how our views exacerbate the difficulty.

Photo: Water pooled in recess of large limestone rock.

            After a summer hail storm, we had to have our roof replaced. In just a few days’ time, the shingles and tar paper had been taken off and replaced with new. As the crew began to gather their tools and leave, I noticed an older man with a magnetic device sweeping the yard for roofing nails. Now this fellow wasn't one of the guys who had been on the roof, so he couldn't have dropped any of those nails. Yet he was aware that a person or pet might step on one and get hurt, therefore he was motivated to find and remove them. I need to be just as mindful with my emotions. It’s normal to feel angry about an injustice or injury, but what happens when that anger becomes a chronic condition? Such ongoing resentment causes me to suffer and spreads the hurt out to other people (some who may not even be connected to the situation). I don’t need to excuse another person’s bad behavior, but my bitterness won’t make things any better. As the Dhammapada says, “Hatred does not cease by hatred.” Holding on to my resentment and the story around it is the role I've played; if I take responsibility, I can ease my suffering.