Don’t transfer the ox’s load to the cow.

Ragweed and goldenrod photos by Alicia Lamborn

          During the latter part of summer, the bright yellow blooms of goldenrod can be found amid unplowed fields and along roadside ditches. This time of year is also hay fever season, and many sufferers point to the showy blossoms as the cause of their suffering. But it's more plausible their allergies are produced by ragweed, a plant with nondescript flowers that bloom around the same period. Ragweed produces copious amounts of pollen that is spread by the wind. On the other hand, goldenrod's pollen is heavy and sticky; it requires the help of bees, butterflies and other insects for pollination to occur. What is in the air that produces those stuffy noses and itchy eyes is likely caused by ragweed. When things go wrong and our actions are to blame, it's easy to develop a ragweed mentality. We willingly point out our attractive qualities (Look at my lacy leaves!) and shift the focus away from our faults. The cause of any problem is placed on the shoulders of others, and we abdicate all responsibility for any part of what's happened. But like the hay fever sufferer who pulls up all the goldenrod growing nearby, we find that such tactics do nothing to solve the problem. In fact, we relinquish our power that could have been beneficial in working things out. This slogan encourages us to be accountable for the consequences caused by our own words and actions rather attempting to incriminate others.

One has to think about one's problems personally, honestly, and genuinely.

~ Trungpa Rinpoche

For more information on the thirty-fourth slogan, go here. 

Slogan Thirty-four

Don’t transfer the ox’s load to the cow.

From the Lojong for the Layperson booklet: 

            Ask a group of people if they want to have a party, and there will probably be a large show of hands. But ask this same group who would be willing to set up tables, prepare the food, or stay and clean up afterward, and most of them will likely scatter. We like to have fun and demand our rights, but we frequently run from responsibilities. This slogan asks us to check ourselves to see if we are avoiding commitments and shifting the burden of obligations to other people. Our load should be determined by our capabilities; we ought to avoid piling up duties on someone with less experience and time, especially if they are already overloaded. If the task is worthwhile and we have the freedom and ability, perhaps we should raise our hand rather than hide.

Photo: A dogwood tree supports a huge, fallen pine limb.

            I was listening to Larry Wilmore on The Nightly Show as he explained how differently a First World (industrialized) country defines a problem as opposed to a Third World (developing) country: “We’re all familiar with First World problems. Like when I have to turn on the subtitles on Netflix because I’m eating Doritos too loudly.” His example made me laugh, but it also directed a light on how those of us with “more” live our lives. We think our problems and obligations are more important or overwhelming than those of anyone else. We define our time as more valuable and only grudgingly give it away. Yet if I’m honest, I’ll realize how self-indulgent this kind of thinking is. My excuses are a convenient way to cover up my laziness and add to the load of another person. Rather than being a reason to avoid responsibility, having what I do should inspire me to carry the weight I’m capable of supporting.