Don’t try to be the fastest.

Photo by Jonathan Monro

The bowerbird (a species endemic to Australia and New Guinea) has a fascinating ritual when mating season arrives. As part of their courtship, the males build a bower; some structures resemble a maypole built around a small sapling while others are made of vertical sticks with a ‘walk-through.’ These constructions alone would not be enough to get noticed by the females, so the males show off their exterior decorating skills. Found items are arranged in their ‘courtyard’- natural things like shells, feathers and flowers or human-made things such as bottle caps, straws, toys and clothes pins. Each bird will spend hours arranging their collection, sometimes putting items in groups of things that are alike or at times sticking to a certain color choice. They often use optical illusion to hold the female’s attention by arranging objects from smallest to largest. Anything moved out of its place will be put back in its original place. The intention of all this effort is to outshine the other males in hopes of attracting a female. Humans have the same habit of trying to eclipse others, attempting to outperform or outsmart everyone else. But we lose sight of our purpose when this habit is used in our spiritual practice. There’s no need to squander our energy trying to be the best; our practice is not meant to be a race but an effort that will last a lifetime.

We only obsess over winning because of the elation we experience when we have gained superiority over others and see someone else losing. This is only an illusory victory, fabricated by the samsaric mind, and we’ll experience many obstacles if we continue to see things this way. ~ Traleg Kyabgon

For more information on the thirty-fifth slogan, go here.

Slogan Thirty-five

Don’t try to be the fastest.

From the Lojong for the Layperson booklet:             

            Even in our spiritual practice, we can become competitive, striving to achieve honor and distinction. Yet the struggle to outperform and outsmart doesn't work in this arena. It is a distraction that causes us to lose our gentleness and benevolence. Our practice is not a timed event but a lifetime affair; impatience won't speed up our progress. This slogan doesn't mean we shouldn't try to excel in all areas of our lives, rather it recommends that we use our past successes and failures to compete against instead of other people.

Photo: Rotund disc snail on a moss-covered limestone rock.

            When I do a balancing pose in yoga, I fix my eyes on one unmoving point. This technique is called drishti, a method that helps me with my wobble by maintaining a one-pointed focus. The thirty-fifth slogan draws attention to how we often become distracted and thrown off balance by the competitive side of our personality. I can easily get drawn into wanting to be the prettiest, smartest, or practically any other adjective that means I’m the best. What is the motive behind that longing for an “est” label? I call it the desire for “extra-special treatment.” My ego wants me to be acknowledged and lauded for my efforts and abilities. I crave those looks of awe and adoration. Now there’s nothing wrong with trying to become more skillful or endeavoring to make progress. But competition means I seek to gain something that others want without a wish to share - I want it all for myself. Cooperation and compassion become unimportant because these qualities won’t help me achieve that goal. Such striving is what causes a spiritual wobble; I get distracted by what is trivial and lose sight of what is of true worth.