Don't expect applause.

Photo from Living with Wolves

          For social animals like wolves, communication among the group is vital in reinforcing bonds, maintaining stability and coordinating action. Body language - posture, facial expression, ear and tail position - are one way these animals express their intent and expectation non-verbally. Vocalizations may include barks, yips, whines, growls and whimpers; each sound is effective in sending important information and keeping the community united. Since smell is one of the wolf's most acute senses, scat and urine are used as identification and boundary markers. Humans too rely on communication; even one-year-olds can recognize facial expressions of approval or disapproval. This pressing need to earn the good opinion and applause from others often follows us into adulthood, usually to our disadvantage. As we train and practice on our spiritual path, we may look to others for positive feedback. Yet this compulsion is nearly always a distraction and rarely an aid. The Buddha reminded his followers that they were capable of perceiving for themselves whether a teaching was beneficial and true by simply putting it into practice. Our own experience will provide all the feedback we need.

What further reward is there beyond finding that our actions are gratifying, meaningful, and purposeful in themselves? ~ Traleg Kyabgon

For more information on the fifty-ninth slogan, go here.

Slogan Fifty-nine

Don’t expect applause.

From the Lojong for the Layperson booklet:

            Throughout lojong practice, our actions are done with the purpose of benefiting all beings. Yet we humans find it hard not to have expectations for what we do; we seek approval, thanks, recognition or some sort of repayment (your scratch my back, I'll scratch yours). If we don't receive what we expect, we get huffy and feel justified in our resentment, effectively canceling out any intrinsic good feelings. But spiritual practice is done for its own sake and should be its own reward. Instead of expecting, we can be curious or inquisitive as we watch to see what unfolds. Pema Chodron explains, "We can begin to open our hearts to others when we have no hope of getting anything back."

Photo: A stack of pyrite (fool’s gold) nuggets.

            During the first year of my marriage, I worked at a federal lab that tested peanuts for aflatoxin. It wasn’t uncommon for us to work 11 or 12 hour days, especially during harvest time. I came home tired every weekday and had little energy for domestic tasks other than cooking supper for my husband and two stepsons. What I didn’t realize before I got married was how well my husband and his boys could tolerate dirt and clutter. I’d just assumed that once it got bad enough, they would naturally want to tidy things up. That supposition didn’t materialize. Living in such disorder makes me feel stressed, so I would drag myself out of bed on the weekends and clean house. It was a wonderful feeling when I was finished, yet no one seemed to notice but me. Pema Chodron once said, “I find out a lot about myself from what insults me.” And insulted was exactly how I felt! Yet if I’m honest, I’ll admit that what I did benefited me more than them. In the same way, my spiritual practice and any kind deeds I do may be of use to others, but ultimately I am the one who profits. No praise or thanks is necessary.